Teaching Babies to Feed Themselves

My husband,Kevin, and I had been waiting for quite some time to go to this Italian restaurant near our home with the deep red and gold painted walls, green checkered table cloths, and authentic Italian paintings that glowed with the flickering candle light. The incredible smell of sumptuous Italian sauces with garlic and olive oil filled the air and our mouths watered as we watched the waiters bring hot steaming lasagna and baskets of fresh bread to the customers' tables. I sat my seven month old baby, Marek, in the highchair beside me and pulled out his bib making sure to spread it evenly over his little tray. In a little while, our food arrived. I acquired an extra plate from the waiter, chopped up a bit of my meal in little tiny pieces, and handed the ceramic dinnerware to my seventh month old along with one of his little baby spoons I'd brought from home. We all sat quietly eating our meal and enjoying it thoroughly when I heard a woman's voice from behind saying, "Honey, look at that tiny baby! He's feeding himself and he's not even making a mess!" It wasn't the first time I'd heard that and it dawned on me that I had taught my son to do something very unusual. In the weeks following, I started noticing other little babies, and even three and four year olds!, making huge messes all over the floor, all over themselves, and leaving it all to mom or some other poor soul to clean up. Someone once said that if you train your child to obey you from the very beginning of their lives, they will be a refreshment to you. While I watched relatives', friends', and others' children throwing food on the floor, smothering it in their hair and smearing it all over the table, flinging it across the room and staining their clothes with it, I sat in amazement and immeasurable gratitude at the neat and clean smiling baby who's only mess resided on his little bib.

I know what you're thinking. I just have a really smart, gifted baby. Well, no. Over the years, I've had my bubble of pride burst again and again, realizing that my child is just an average kiddo like everyone else. What makes the difference is training. After reading some child training books when my son was just a newborn, I got the idea that if I can train him not to touch dangerous things, or crawl up a flight of steps, and to pick up his toys when he's through, certainly I can teach him how to hold a spoon and feed himself without making a mess. So when he was old enough to sit up on his own, hold an object and eat solid foods, which was for Marek around 6 months, I started training him to feed himself.

It is really quite easy. First, make sure your baby can sit up on their own, hold an object, and can eat solid food like baby cereal or pureed fruits and veggies. Next, set baby up in the highchair and sit in front of him. Place the spoon in his hand with your hand over his. Direct his hand to scoop up the food in his dish and bring it to his mouth. At first this will be a new exercise and baby may decide not to co-operate, but I found in teaching all my children this same way, that as soon as the food gets into their mouths, they're more than willing to play this "new game". An important extra step for you, mom, is to smile and encourage a lot everytime your baby complies with each new command.

Continue the same motion of scooping the food hand over hand and bringing it to baby's mouth over and over until he understands the movement and can do it on his own. This will take a few days. When baby understands how to operate the spoon on his own, you can then take your hand off, but keep it nearby, ready to catch any wayward movements and redirect the hand back to position. It will just be a matter of time before your child will test his boundaries and try to fling food or a dish across the room or attempt to dress himself in it. When this happens, you must firmly tell baby "No" and show him again, hand over hand, the correct way to hold and operate the spoon.

Now, your children are very smart and they will know what is expected of them, so keep up the training and do not give up! Remember, the moment you stop training is the moment you have taught your child that they are in control and that is extremely disastrous! So keep working faithfully, hand over hand at every meal, every day until your child fully understands how to eat properly. Then, wherever you may be, mealtimes will be a refreshing time to enjoy your food and family!